The Woody awards
by McQueenfan95
Summary: So, I finally got around to getting off my butt and counting the votes. Also, contains an anouncement about a future fic. No drugs, sex, alcohol, cussing or blood and gore. Sorry.


**I finally did it! I finally started the award show and have an idea for the battle story! Anyway, on with the fic!  
><strong>  
>Spotlights swung around the dark theater as a voice said, "Welcome to the first ever Woody awards! And here's your hosts, Prickly Quills and Denise Lea!<p>

The lights pointed to the stage, where Prickly and Denise, both dressed very nicely, walked out to the glass podium.

"Thank you, thank you so much", said Prickly as he took the mic. He finally said, "Enough! Enough! Enough with the applause! It's not gonna be that good."

A ripple of laughter passed around the theater.

Prickly continued, "Welcome, one and all, to the first ever Woody Awards! McQ and GWR were unable to be here this evening due to legal issues."

Denise took the mic and said, "before we get to presenting the awards, we have a few guest speakers here this evening."

Prickly nodded and said, "To start us off, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, my buddy, Toby Webslinger."

The crowd cheered as Toby walked over and took the mic. He said, "Thank you. Thank you. It is great to be here tonight as a guest speaker. McQ, if you and GWR are watching this, I hope you guys get that thing sorted out. Anyway, I see Disco Bear is here tonight. Disco Bear, you tub of lard, I wanted to tell you I recently bought your last album, and all I can say is it was terrible. It was a sequent train wreck. Your disco career was such a tragedy, George Strait could'a written three albums about it. And your music was so terrible, Toby Keith forgave the Dixie Chicks."

The crowd laughed at the jokes.

Toby continued, "now for all of you guys. People love your show. It may not be good, if may not be funny, but asking as there as a flag left waving, alcohol left to drink, and teenagers who love mindless violence, you guys are loved. Isn't that what makes America great? And as I speak, there are thousands of troops overseas in Iraq and Afganistan fighting to protect that dream. That, and to get as far away from the Happy Tree Friends as possible. Good night."

The crowd cheered as he walked off the stage.

Denise walked back over to the mic and said, "And now, Please welcome, straight from Mondo Media, The Dick Figures, Red and Blue!"

The crowd cheered wildly as the hosts stepped back from the mike and the stick figures walked out onto the stage. 

"Thanks guys", said Blue.

"Sup Treeville? Red and Blue in da house!", yelled Red.

"Red! Calm down!", said Blue.

"You ain't my baby sitter! Ill calm down when I'm dead!", Red screamed.

"Anyway", said Blue, "McQ asked us to say a few words this evening.."

Red took the mic and said, "I have a few words. SUCK MY DI..." Blue slapped a hand over Red's mouth.

"I told you not to say that! McQ specificly said 'No profanity in the speech!'", said Blue.

"Fine", said Red. He crumpled up his speech and threw it away. "I guess I have no speech."

Blue rolled his eyes and said, "Here. You can help me with mine. It's a poem about the Happy Tree Friends."

"Aaargh! That's gonna suck!", Red protested.

"Do you have a better suggestion?", asked Blue, "If you don't speak, you don't get paid. That was part of the deal."

Red sighed and said, "Fine. We'll do the poem."

Blue put on his glasses, took out a piece of paper, cleared his throat and said, "Ode to Happy Tree Friends. Your blood sprays about, you cry out in pain, but know too well that your screams are in vain."

Red took the page and said, "Your bones fracture... fracture? Your organs fly, yet my sides split with laughter when I see you critters die."

Blue continued, "a severed limb here, an eyeball there, and to top it off, a dead, yellow hare."

Red continued, "I'm glad we have critters who are willing to face their ends. Fore if we did not, there'd be no Happy Tree Friends."

"Thank you", said Blue. He and Red took a bow and walked off of the stage.

Prickly walked back to the mic and said, "We'll be right back, after these commercial messages."

Narrator: "This portion of The Woody Awards is brought to you by... Russell's mussels and more. And by... the Harry Beaver & son construction company.

Commercial for Russell's mussels and more. 

Russell: Yarr! Ahoy mateys! Ye'll find only the freshest seafood at Russell's mussels and more. So come on down and try some today!

Commercial for the Harry Beaver & son construction co.

Handy: Hi. I'm Handy Beaver. Thirty years ago, my father, Harry, started a construction company. Today, it's still running strong. Plus, we guarentte our work for life. So remember, the next time you need a proffesional contractor, call the Harry Beaver & son construction company at 1-800-554-2639. (**that spells 1-800-55-HANDY**)

Another commercial.

Coming this fall to a computer near you.

Twenty critters...

Several difficult challenges...

And one remote island...

Twenty critters will face off against each other, competeing for the ulimate prize! Their own private island! With a five star hotel, six restaurants, a casino, and prestine white sandy beaches. Inhabited by hot, busty women, or hot, muscular men, or both. Winner's choice.

(**remember that battle fic I was gonna write? Well, I changed it up some. It will no longer be about killing, but instead like survivor. If you already gave me a character, they will be used. Remember, only 20 will be taken and it's first come, first serve. And btw, there are two different islands. The deserted island that they're playing on, and the awesome island they're competing for**)

The battle begins October first. (or whenever I get around to it)

This fic not yet rated.

And now, back to the show.

Prickly took the mic again and said, "Ok, welcome back. Now, before we get to the awards, you'll have to wait for the next chapter."

**Thanks for reading this far. Btw, I'm only accepting one OC per entry. And the cutoff date is October first. **


End file.
